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Posts tagged parenting
Hot Camaro’s and indoor pools
Jul 6th
Today started off kind of late for me, I decided to get up last night cause I couldn’t sleep, so I wrote an article on great places to take your kids in Las Vegas at 3am. Amanda who is 16 going on 27, and is destined to make my life a living hell, had her boyfriend over so the very first thing I see when I walk downstairs is the two of them cuddling on the couch. Just what a mother wants to see, after watching tv shows like “16 and Pregnant”. I decided to be the angelic wife that I always am, right, and I made my husband breakfast in bed. Now before you think I am just like the best thing since sliced bread let me tell you what I made him. I made him fried eggs and left over pancakes which I fried in butter. Somehow we ran out of bread, stranger things have happened when you have 9 kids in the house. Now the pancakes were left over from dinner which he made for dinner last night. I came upstairs and flopped down on the bed next to my husband who wanted to know where my breakfast was, I told him I wasn’t hungry, I was to tired to be hungry. He has to top my breakfast and make me a bowl of cereal.
Before long the natives were restless they wanted to play at the park, which sounded pretty funny to me. So apparently Tim and I have short term memory loss because we let David go with us again after his behavior last time. So we all decide to play basketball and play the game HORSE. Somehow they decided to be nice to the crazy old lady and let me win. Next we played a game and the real animal mentalities came out. I was checking the ball and Meghan attacked me clawing at my face, Tim yelled “blood”, “foul”, and I the lucky old lady who was practically crying got to shoot from the foul line, and by making the first basket we won the game and I was put out of my misery. Logan, my sweet, baby, escorted me to the bathroom to clean up my war wounds, says “mommy, what happened” I told him Meghan did it. He said “I knew she was evil”. At the park David was running around like he was possessed. He ran around calling all his sisters and brothers names, wetting the slide and pushing them down, hogging the swings, and just driving me mad. I felt like dropping to my knees and asking god, why I deserved this. All the other family’s children were all well behaved, and we looked like the rat pack. As it was we only had 5 of the kids with us, so I wasn’t sure why we would stick out, so what if we had 2 1/2 times more kids then anyone else. But did our kids have to act like psycho paths too?
On the way home we threatened to make many drop off points “One more incident David, and I will stop this car and you will walk home.” Luckily for him, he made it home on all 4 wheels. On our way home though, we pass the rest of the crew waving frantically to us. I am not sure where they expected us to put them. Let me see 7 passenger mini van, with 7 people inside, where are the 4 people on the side of the road going to go, not in our car, so we past. As soon as we past, Bradley calls me on the phone, wondering why we did not pick them up and wanting to tell us what happened.
Apparently his on again off again girlfriend, who is currently off was playing games again and this time was either A. trying to make him jealous or B. trying to kick his ass. The one that was going to either make him jealous or kick his ass was a girl dressed up like a boy. She wanted Bradley to meet him by the lake just with the younger kids, Bradley who obviously had some sense about him brought his brother with the broken back, his younger sister, and her boyfriend. Whatever the plan was it didn’t work, and I am not sure what the latest status is.
We got home and realized that a pack of rats had visited our home and had eaten all the food, we had to go shopping again. So we made a list of the usual items rats eat – milk, cereal, ice cream, chips, you know the eating habits of hungry rats.
We pulled into the grocery store and it was difficult finding a place to park our
car, there was a very hot car taking up 2 spots, obviously the owner did not know that old crappy Camaro’s are out of style and certainly not worthy of 2 spots. In a normal story this would be a case of foreshadowing.
So we go around the aisles picking up all the food that rats like to eat and I feel like we are against all odds everyone is going the opposite direction as us in the aisles and everyone is the most important shopper there. Talk about aisle hoggers, and they were all deaf because if you said excuse me, it was ignored.
We hurry to make it to one register with no one in line, as people come through the line the wrong way saying nasty things about the cashiers, young men saying “I’ll show her my dick, I am sure she’ll like that” and they push their way past us. Now let me just say that if they were my children they would have bubbles coming out of their mouths for days, not to mention a sore ass. We just happened to be walking behind them on the way out of the store as well. The group was with their grandmother and they were dropping the F bomb like it was a bad rendition of Scarface. I had all I could do not to adopt them for 5 minutes just to give them some good old fashioned parenting. As they walked out the door, Tim and I looked at each other and at the same time said “dirt bags”. And guess what? They were the rightful owners of the hot Camaro. You know the old piece of shit of course.
So we get home and apparently we have moved out to the arc. Because in the process of Amanda deciding to make a Hot Pocket Dylan is asked to fix the circuit breaker and we discover that we now live on water. Our basement had at least 2 feet of water in it. I guess our property value just went up because we now have an indoor pool. Ok kids get your bathing suits, let’s go for a swim. And Tim baby we can go skinny dipping in the moonlight.
So dinner comes around at 10pm, who says we have to be like the Jones. Hell we have 9 kids we do everything different. Now it is midnight and I am going to write one more article and go to sleep, I hope unless something else exciting happens. Thanks for reading, see you tomorrow.
Dog’s Skin Tag Feels Like A Nipple
Jul 2nd
Here are 7 of the kids
Well Today we had to get up even earlier because it was Amanda’s turn. Her appointment was at 9 was we had to leave at 830am. I was up late again because I was stressed out about one of my clients you see. You see ever since Tim stopped working at his job as a teacher we have been counting on grant writing as our main income. I have my full time grant writing job and Tim has been doing some part time grant work. As well as we have both been doing some writing work.So I have been a little stressed out counting on money from a business to support our family.
Oh something happened last night that was really funny. My son TJ, was describing the dog’s skin tag to his brothers and said it felt like a girls nipple. I had to laugh, it was just to funny. Now I am not sure if he really said it or not but it was so funny.
So the dental office is getting to know our family on a first name basis. And the sad thing is that we have several more visits scheduled over the next few weeks for the kids to have their actual work done on their teeth. So Amanda has 7 cavities and needs to come back for sealants and needs to have them filled. Amanda has a ventricular heart defect so she has to have antibiotics prior to dental work so I was shocked when we got to the dentists office and they had medication there waiting for her, I was just like wow, what service.
So we were home by 10am and Tim ran up to the pharmacy to get my prescriptions filled. You see our, mine and Tim’s, health insurance became effective today, yeah. So no more paying over $600 per month in prescriptions. That was the biggest trouble with being uninsured, it is bad enough having to pay cash to see the doctors but you don’t even realize the cost of the medications I take. I have migraines so I have 2 medications that I take on a daily basis for that as well as arthritis in my knees so it amounts to over $600 per month in medications, pretty rediculous, and that doesn’t even account for times when the kids have had an ear infection or have had strep throat.
So I got some of my work done for the day on my grant writing. I did some research for a school in Harlem and I wrote two grant applications.
A little while ago David was teasing Amanda so Amanda started chasing David saying he was going to kiss him and hug him, she was saying “Davie commere, I wanna give y0u a kissiebo, Davie I love you” and she was charing his all around the house.
Then the kids made brownies and they were cooling on the stove and Logan went down to get Tim and I one and Dylan started flipping out on him for touching it. Logan said I touched it with the tachula, instead of spatula. It was funny.
Well to be continued, gotta do some more work. Well we ate dinner at 830pm, because I ended up taking a nap. Tim made dinner, 3 large ham steaks, 6 boxes kraft mac n cheese and 3 pounds of corn, mmmmm! I was so happy that he made dinner. I sat up in bed and worked on a grant proposal for USAID for a group of docs providing care for cardiovascular disease in emerging countries and wrote an article on The South Beach Diet on Phase 1 Foods, sounds exciting right?
Now it is 1120pm and I am finally getting to some fun stuff, writing this blogg and checking on my twitter. In case you are not on twitter look me up my name on twitter is micheleaclarke come and follow me there. I also have several articles published, I link them their as they get published.
Well thank you for reading, you are all my friends, I thank you all fore reading and please come back tomorrow!! If you miss a day, they are all here.
Good Night
Michele
Back to Dentist and We’re Invisible
Jul 2nd
Today I started out still with the horrible migraine I went to sleep with last night. We had to wake up and get ready relatively early this morning because Meghan(13) and Emily (12) had their dental cleaning and exams this morning so we had to leave by 945am to make it to their appointments. Logan was crying because he wanted to go betu we explained that everyone else was staying home so he would have more than enough people here to watch him. So we kissed him over and over and hugged him twice and pulled out of the drive way waving to him as we pulled out.
As were drove there Meghan and Emily, especially Emily was preoccupied with whether or not she was going to need a root canal. I tried to explain that I was kidding last week about the root canals. We arrived and we could see the nervousness written all over her face. It was a pleasant car ride, just me and Tim and the two girls, nice and quiet.
Emily went into see the dentist first, she came out with a relatively clean bill of health, she had one cavity and needed to have one small baby tooth pulled which they were going to do today. They pulled it with Novocaine. Meghan went next, she was not even nervous. Meghan came out and I am happy to report that she did not even have any cavities. They both need to return in a few weeks for sealants on their adult teeth and Emily needs a retainer on her top teeth to straighten them out as well as needs that 1 cavity filled. By the time we got home it was 1pm and the kids were starving.
We made chicken nuggets and french fries, 2 pounds of french fries, and 3 pounds of chicken nuggets. We got the kids eating and I ran upstairs to get a little work done. Tim worked on writing part of a 3 page grant proposal and I wrote 2 articles and worked on research for for full time job. Next we worked on a grocery list for the next 10 days.
We figured it would be best if we go shopping for 10 days. So I made up a list for 10 dinners, 10 lunches and breakfasts.
Playground Hors
Jul 2nd
Today we got up and started getting things packed to go to the beach. Logan was getting dressed and he was singing again he was singing Noooooooboooooddddy looooook aaaaaat mmmmmmmeeeeee. Singing it over and over from his room, talk about cute. There is a lake near our house, about 30 minutes away. Emily gets everything packed up the bathing suits and towels and beach toys. She packed up Logans, Brendan, Hers and Meghan’s stuff. We told David he could go if he behaved himself. Tim and I had to run up to Walmart to pick up one of mine and Logan’s prescriptions as well as a little bit of food and some Jelly. Emily was going to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as soon as we got home.
While we were gone we got a call from Emily saying it was raining out and cloudy at our house, it was doing the same at Walmart. Emily sounded so upset. We told her that my sister Lisa had invited us to her house tomorrow and that we would be going swimming at her house and having a bbq there. The kids were all so sad they really wanted to go to the beach.
So we got home the kids had lunch. Lunch consisted of 3 loaves of bread, 1 large jar of peanut butter, a jar of jelly and a bag of chips and a gallon of iced tea. Emily was a good girl she made it all. So we rewarded her with a pack of sugarless bubble gum. After our trip to the dentist the other day, sugarless gum was going to be it in our house. Any other sticky type sugary candy was not going to be purchased by our money. We also got a call from Amanda who had to get picked up at her friends house. They were having septic problems and had no bathroom services. So we left the kids there and went too pick up Amanda. So we drove over to pick up Amanda which is about a half hour away.
We were gone for over an hour and the kids kept on calling. First Logan calls, that’s right Logan called and he said that Brendan was missing. I asked him to put Emily on the phone I could here David messing around in the background, Logan put down the phone and left. I hung up and called Bradley to ask what was going on, of course he didnt know. I asked where TJ was. He said TJ went to someones graduation party. So I told Bradley to find Brendan and call me back. Emily calls me says that Logan told her to call me, she says that she is hiding Brendan because David keeps teasing him saying he is going to put glass in his foot and that they keep fighting. Emily is such a good girl, protecting her younger siblings. I would rather she just kick David’s but and get it over with, I know bad thing to say. But he is always bothering them and they need to just stick up for themselves to end it.
So we get home and yell at David, lotta good it does and we tell him that he is not going to Lisa’s house tomorrow. You see we only have one vehicle right now and as you can imagine 9 kids + 2 adults do not fit into 1 mini van. Well TJ has work, so that leaves 8 and David is not being punished so that is 7, just need to exclude 1-2 more and we will be all set. We also have a smaller car but TJ decided to use it without permission. The air in the tire was running low and he bent the rim on the tire and we simply have not had the time or funds to get it fixed. We have been giving TJ so much money to keey our other car going when his car bit the dust. TJ’s cars transmission dropped so we gave him one of our cars, well he decided to take our 3rd car because it is a convertible and he ruined the tire in doing so. Now keep in mind we have all older cars a 1997 and a 1999, and the one we game him is a 2000,.
So it has finally stopped raining and now it is sunny but is is 415pm so it is to late to go to the lake but we can take them to the playground, that is always fun. I will be back
The playground was alot of fun. It was just Me, Tim, Emily, Brendan, and Logan. You might be sitting there because I used the word “just” when most people do not even have 5 people in their family and I use the number 5 like it is hardly anyone. For us to just have 5 of us, it seems like a very small group. So we played on the playground for a while and then we went to play basketball which is where the excitement began. We started with a game of HORSE. You know how that game goes. The person to go first tries to make a basket and whoever makes a basket first sets the criteria for everyone. We all must make the shot from that spot or you risk getting the risk letter of the word HORSE. Before long Logan had an H and he was pouting because he did not want a letter. Emily said to Logan just be glad you are not a Ho like I am. Most of us were Ho’s except me, I was a Hor. We all started laughing. What a bad game, eh. Emily ended up winning the game because we all went from being Hors and somehow turned into Horses. Next we played a team vs team game. The teams were Tim and Brendan vs. Me and Emily. Logan decided that he was going to be the coach for both teams which was really funny. He called us over and said to us “Ok we wanna have a good game so no punching, kicking, biting, spitting, pushing, or shoving. Now let’s have a good game.” With that we started playing. I played a little rough, well we all did, and Logan kept stopping us to tell us the rules again. “Guys, guys, no shoving” At the end of the game the girls won, that’s right, Emily and I won, I kind of think, Tim let us win. Brendan was not happy. We all left the court except Brendan. He threw the ball back into the basket and proclaimed that it was now 6-5 and that the boys won. We went back over to the play ground for a little while and let them play on the playground for a while and Tim and I just sat on the bench and talked. I cannot even begin to tell you how nice sitting on a bench and just talking is. It is the absolute best. It is like we are alone, except for the fact that kids are running around the playground.
When we got home we made hamburgers and french fries for dinner, 16 burgers, and 3 pounds of french fries, and 3 pounds of corn. Dylan and David made dinner because we decided to be nice to them and let them go and see the Transformers with TJ and that we would pay for the 3 or them to go. So the kids stayed up late watching movies downstairs and Tim and I watched movies as well.
Thanks for reading, read our blog tomorrow.
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